My Old Ass (2024)

Man.... it really burns my buttons when a movie has so much potential, so many interesting paths it could take, so many interesting questions it could ask, and we end up with an ending that is tepid. Milquetoast. Mediocre. Uninspired. Bland. Trite. Conventional. Mediocre. Yeah, I know I said that twice.

The movie starts off with an interesting premise. What if you could talk to your younger self? What if you could talk to your older self? Then it leaves all the interesting questions unanswered, and focuses on a banal cliché, that you should enjoy your youth while you have it.

What are the interesting questions this movie completely fails to even answer? How would you actually prove that you are in fact you? You don't look like you. You don't sound like you. Would knowing that one thing you thought was secret, be enough? What if that one secret thing had a fifty/fifty chance of being correct? That is the way scammers work. They don't need to fool everyone all the time. They just need to fool enough people enough of the time to make the entire scam worth their while.

What if your future self tells your teenage self to not fall for this guy, then disappears for a few days, with the lame excuse that you were too busy, on a retreat? What the fuck, future self? You expect a teenager to listen to an older future self? And what the fuck, younger self? How the fuck does that not scream "this is a fucking scam."

What if your future self refuses to tell you how to win the lotto, refuses to tell you which job to go for, or which stocks to invest in, and simply wants you to not fall for that one guy? What the fuck, future self? Sure, making solid choices in love is important, but sometimes you simply have to learn the hard lessons the hard way, you won’t know how much fire burns until you have burned yourself at least once. Why can't younger self learn the hard lessons with a little extra cash in the pocket? What the fuck, younger self, how the fuck does this not scream "it's a fucking scammer?"

I don't know what the intent behind the scam is. But the entire thing has to be a scam. It's too fucking stupid to be anything else.



You should not watch My Old Ass (2024) if...

• You prefer movies that explore deep, philosophical questions.
• You are a teenager - the overall message might seem too daunting.
• You dislike predictable storylines.
• You are frustrated by characters making illogical choices.
• You are expecting a realistic exploration of time travel.
• You get irritated with themes that lack a grounded practical aspect, even in a fictitious premise.

Whats the deal with...
Warning: The following may contain spoilers:

What's the deal with "My Old Ass"? No, seriously, what is the deal?

I mean, here we have a concept that begs to defy the laws of time and space. A chance to explore the complexities of self-identity and the potential for unparalleled introspection.

But instead of taking us on a journey of discovery, we are told 'Hey, kids. Enjoy your youth. Don't fall in love with the wrong person.'

Groundbreaking stuff, really. It’s like going to a magic show and the magician just pulls a rabbit out of a hat.

No, really, my old ass has never seen that one before.

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Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

This wildly inventive film dives into the multiverse and challenges traditional storytelling norms. It explores a myriad of alternate realities while addressing themes of choice and personal identity. With humor and heart, this movie manages to pack a punch in its themes while delivering an engaging narrative that refrains from settling for mediocrity, ensuring a thought-provoking viewing experience.

Based on your thoughts about "My Old Ass" and the themes that resonate with you, I'd recommend some films that dive into intriguing concepts, especially related to time travel and the self, while steering clear of cliché conclusions. Here are some suggestions: Predestination (2014):

For a mind-bending experience, "Predestination" delves into the intricacies of time travel and identity. It poses fascinating questions about fate and self-determination, challenging the very nature of existence. The film's narrative is uniquely structured, taking viewers on a perplexing journey that ultimately reveals profound insights about choices and consequences, making it a worthy follow-up for someone intrigued by complex stories.

Coherence (2013):

"Coherence" is a low-budget gem that explores the interplay of reality and relationships during a cosmic event. This film builds tension and intrigue without relying on special effects, focusing instead on character dynamics and the unsettling possibilities of multiverse theory. It's an intelligent thriller that raises existential questions as the story unfolds in unexpected, compelling ways.

Timecrimes (Los Cronocrímenes) (2007):

This Spanish thriller, "Timecrimes," masterfully intertwines elements of suspense and time travel, leading to an intense exploration of the consequences of one's actions. The plot is intricate yet grounded, providing a mind-boggling experience that encourages viewers to ponder their decisions and the potential repercussions. Its twisty narrative will keep you on the edge of your seat and thinking long after it's over.

The One I Love (2014):

"The One I Love" offers a unique blend of romance and science fiction, showcasing a couple attempting to rekindle their relationship at a getaway. However, they encounter unexpected twists that challenge their understanding of love and identity. The film cleverly plays with familiar tropes while inviting viewers to explore deeper questions about connection and the self, aligning well with the themes you found compelling.

I hope these films offer the thought-provoking narratives and intriguing themes you’re looking for! Happy viewing!

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